Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Greatest Story Never told!

Resellers beware the Government is after you!

I just came across these photos on sneakerfreaker so resellers beware! Wear your shoes or else this will happen. Moisture can infiltrate the foam of the midsole and the air unit leading to a slow leak or worse, complete rupture of the air unit causing the disintegration of the midsole obviously rendering the shoe un-wearable and leaving a big $1000 “investment” useless on your shelves.

I do however present a more humorous recount of why this happens and it is as follows. The greatest conspiracy never told!

It’s DEFINATELY worth the read.

It is absolutely no coincidence that 1985 was the year that the Air Jordan I was released as well as a film distributed by Universal Studios titled “Back to the Future”. Carl Laemmle the founder of Universal settled in the Unites States in 1905 where he cofounded the Independent Moving Picture Company. Laemmle broke with Edison's custom of refusing credit to actors and by naming them in the film’s credits and by doing so was able to gain major influence over the film industry as well as create strong political foundations within the wider American community. To cut a long story short Universal Pictures Company was incorporated in 1925 gaining immediate success off the back of films such as the Hunchback of Notre Dame and The Phantom of the Opera.

Jump forward in time and the chance meeting of a young designer and people within the highest level of the Universal family set a limited lifespan to the reselling abilites of the sneaker market forever. Laemmle, using his political influences was able to ensure the visionary Tinker Hatfield was to be assigned to Nike’s upcoming Air Jordan line ensuring he could at least to some extent control the desirable nature of sneakers if he inturn controlled the visionary designer.

Jump back slightly in time to the Roswell Incident involving the recovery of materials near Roswell, New Mexico, USA, on July 7, 1947. It was not in-fact aliens who crash landed in Roswell New Mexico that ill-fated night but three men from the future flying back in time to warn us that in the year 2075 it was not money that was traded on the world market but sneakers, it was sneakers that became the currency of the world and as such all major governments lost control over the financial standings of their nations.

Obviously the US government could never let this happen and they set out on a major endevour to change the future. In making this decision alone they infact changed the course of history, resulting in the immediate disappearence of all debris surround the crash. Area 51 was established and the UFO scandal was virally marketed to all corners of the globe in order to cover up their true motive. Here is the shocking truth, Area 51 is not infact a secret research facility housing alien lifeforms but a secret Nike testing and development facility. Yes you might say that Nike was not infact founded until January 1964 however this was just the lead in time required by the government to establish their facility and lay the groundwork for their technologies. Do you think it is merely a coincidence that 'Nike' in Greek Mythology is a goddess representing ‘Triumph’?

The flux capacitor was the main driving component of the future aircraft and this is where the US Government came up with the ingenious idea of discrediting any future leak surrounding the name and validity of the devise. By creating a movie and using the real technology as the main function of time travel the possible future leak of such a technology would obviously be deemed immediately rediculous and a hoax.

Now what does this have to do with Tinker Hatfiel you may ask? After Universal and the US Government had conspired to decieve the world in order to maintain a functioning economy outside of Asia they needed to ensure that sneakers would not maintain a functional nature more then 10-15 years after their production, this timeline was chosen to ensure their immediate functionality and durability in order to not raise any eyebrows.

Tinker was influenced to use a porous midsole that would slowly decompose over time on all Jordans, even now in the modern day no perfect form of storage has been found. Yes it is true that the Air Jordan I was mainly credited to Peter Moore and the Air Jordan II to Bruce Kilgore but this was only to further bury the truth.

As design work for the Air Jordan line was gearing up so was the politically tied Universal Studios work on a new movie to star up and coming actor Micheal J Fox named ‘Back to the Future’, a movie based loosely on the surrounding events that preceeded it. Did you really think that it was a co-incidence that Tinker Hatfield designed the ‘McFly’ sneaker for the movie? So really you could say that Universal Studio is indeed Dr. Emmett "Doc" Brown, the US government is ‘Biff Tannen’ and Nike in one way or another is ‘Marty McFly’!

Now you may ask, how did they know Jordan was to become the revolutionary basketball player he was and create such a collectable nature around his sneaker line which in turn enabled the government to tightening their grip on the resellable nature of the sneaker market? Plain and simple, he is an alien, who can in-fact fly and as such was destined to be near unstoppable on court. See below for proof.

This IS indeed the greatest story never told, somebody get me the Walkley Award I have it on lock.

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